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Friday, May 30, 2014

6/26 Retrieval on Memorial Day

I was scheduled for retrieval on Memorial day. This is 2 days earlier than planned and 4 days later than they wanted to trigger me the first time as the 2 biggest follicles hit 20 4 days prior. They kept measuring daily and I think somehow the nurses had different techniques to measure as the 2 follicles went from 20/21 to 20/20 to 24/26.

My guess is that I might have lost the leads after trigger but I will never find out.

Back to retrieval day. I had a 10 am appointment which worked out well. Not too early and not too late to be starving either. I got the IV and it took some convincing (the nurse) that I wanted the smallest needle/tube as I always get severe pain and bruises around the IV site. I guess she somehow confirmed after she was barely able to find a spot and inserted into a vein.
Doctor Minjarez was very nice and reassuring and checked in afterwards as well.
I felt nervous but it wasn't as bad as last time and it went fast. I barely remember being wheeled in and closed my eyes. And I actually felt rested when I woke up and a nurse checked on me. I brought my own snack which was almonds and blueberries and chocolate covered almonds. Just the right mix of salty and sugar and fruits.

Everybody was so surprised that I was wide awake and doing so well. I stayed for another hour after the procedure and they want to make sure you can use the bathroom before you are allowed to go. I didn't need the wheelchair and walked out with my friend who helped me all morning. She is also a patient of CCRM and had appointment that day and her retrieval is on Saturday.

And then they gave me the news: out of 8-9 they measured in the correct range for retrieval they only got 6. I was crushed. This is the same number like last time but how did that happen?  This time i felt more optimistic as i had a better AFC of 8, 4 on each side, it went faster and I had a higher number ( and not too high) of Estrodial in my system.
I was not in a good mood all day long, and just wanted to be alone. My mind was going crazy and I could not sleep that day until very late that night. I had the calendar out to plan potential retrieval dates in 2 months.

Monday, May 26, 2014

The day of Egg retrieval

This is the day. It is 7 am and I am wide awake and ready for my 10 am retrieval. Am I really ready? Not sure. A lot of thoughts are in my head that I need to write down to clear my head for surgery.
I am ready to move beyond the painful memories of having a Preemie, a miscarriage and going through infertility treatments. My little Preemie is fine now but it was tough when doctors told me that they are concerned if even I will be OK after birth having preeclempsia. I did not know if she would survive our not and it was so hard leaving her behind at the hospital and coming home empty handed and staring at the empty crib and unpacked mattress.

I am also sad right now not knowing my unborn child who left at 10 weeks and not knowing if this was the last heartbeat that I will ever see inside of me.

I am crying silently to music while I am typing but it does not feel wrong.

Here I am waiting for some good luck and I am hopeful that there might be something positive coming out of this. I am prepared to do another round but I cannot see beyond that.

I am lucky to be able to do this financially and with the help of a great support system. I even meet 2 ladies locally that are going through this right now. They are at CCRM as well and it helps so much to know that you are not alone. I had a great dinner this week which was a welcome distraction. One of them also offered to help me during prep and recovery. She has appointments today and will drive me back to the hotel.

That's it for now. Not sure I am really ready, especially about the potential disappointment that might come, but I know I am done with this round of Ivf and there is nothing else I can do right now.

Good luck to myself!

Saturday, May 24, 2014

My last shots for this cycle

This is the last set of medications for this Ivf cycle. They told me to do 20 units of Lupron and 75 of Gonal F. Good thing I kept 2 900 and 1 300 pens since they always have a little bit of meds leftover. I think I have 150 left before breaking the remaining 900 open.
Trigger shoot will be at 11:00tonight. 2 days earlier than originally planned.

I packed all meds away. Not throwing them away but keeping them just in case there might be another cycle.I am not brave enough to get rid of them and to believe that everything will be good this time.

I am hoping for at least 1-2 normals after CSS testing.

My last shots for this cycle

This is the last set of medications for this Ivf cycle. They told me to do 20 units of Lupron and 75 of Gonal F. Good thing I kept 2 900 and 1 300 pens since they always have a little bit of meds leftover. I think I have 150 left before breaking the remaining 900 open.
Trigger shoot will be at 11:00tonight. 2 days earlier than originally planned.

I packed all meds away. Not throwing them away but keeping them just in case there might be another cycle.I am not brave enough to get rid of them and to believe that everything will be good this time.

I am hoping for at least 1-2 normals after CSS testing.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Trigger 4 days early???

I had an interesting US result today. Two follicles are way big and I am waiting to see if I need to trigger even today.
I was supposed to have ER on Wednesday and now they talk about as early as Sunday or even Saturday. That's 4 days early! Last time they extended it.
I am confused and actually was hoping for more steady growth and more follicles.
These are the measurements Left: 21/20/11/11/9/7 and right: 14/9/4. Just waiting for their call...

This is only day 10 of my cycle and day 8 of Lupron. The nurse said that 8 days of stimulation would be the minimum.

I don't feel ready yet, but when are you really ready for this?

Also watching the weather news on TV and wondering what this will do to my husband's travel plan. I just moved his flight from Saturday afternoon to Friday 6 am. Looks like it is better to fly in the morning than afternoon due to the storm warnings. And we cannot afford him to get stuck while I am going to ER. This cycle is definitely not boring.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

5/20 Confusing US result and flight to Denver

I am flying today. Actually a day earlier than what the protocol says but I did not want to change the flight and pay $150 plus the additional fare to move it by one day. I got the original one way ticket for $90

I sure could have used one more day at home as things were very hectic

I had my second US this morning and not sure if it was the nurse that bothered me. I felt very rushed and she did not really listen to my questions. So I had
9 total.
Right o. had 1 measured 12mm +2 not measured
left 3 14/12/9 mm +3 not measured.

I am also worried that the 13/14mm is too large already...

On the other hand my E looked really good. My nurse called and said it is in the 900s which is a good indication for "strong" follicles

5/13 Day 1

Finally day 1 is here and I can get started. It is a day later than planned and also they extended my priming cycle by 5 days to a total of 30 which I needed in order to align our travel with Memorial day weekend.

I will take my first meds in 2 days.